Road To Acceptance
by CrazyLake42
Summary: Dil has just moved to a new town and finds it hard to fit in. That is until he meets Phil, will he accept him or not. And where is Tommy? One-shot!
1. Road To Acceptance

** Road To Acceptance  
  
Summary: Dil has just moved to a new town and finds it hard to fit in. That is until he meets Phil, will he accept him or not. And where is Tommy? One-shot!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, although I wish I did...  
**  
**Warning: Contains some slash**  
  
A/N: This story was inspired by Green Day's Road To Acceptance, which can be found on their 1,039/smoothed Out Slappy Hours c.d. Looks who is back! Yes yes I know I should be working on the other story. Never fear it shall be here soon enough, plus it's summer break so yeah! I passed english! Anyways onto the story! Oh and please no flames. I will warn again this has **slash!  
  
**_'I always waste my time  
Just wondering  
What the next man thinks  
of me'_- _Green Day 'Road to Acceptance'  
_  
Slowly entering the crowded room, all eyes land on me. I see people give me disgusted looks and stares. Turning toward the teacher, I hand him my schedule. He looks at me, giving me a look like I was diseased.  
  
I look down at my clothes; black bondage pants, that are so baggy that they cover my black vans. My black System of A Down shirt hanging loosely, as my many necklaces rest on it. The black, spiked choker my brother gave to me squeezes my neck slightly. The teacher hands me back the schedule and glares at my studded bracelet. I head toward the back of the room, hoping to get away from all the stares.   
  
People's eyes following my everymove, and I can't help but wonder what they thing of me. Frowning slightly, I look down at my desk. The stares I receive still linger in my head.  
  
"What did I do wrong?" I ask myself quietly. "Why do they hate me so much?"  
  
It was second period and it ended up being just like first. I was gaped at and some even gibed at me. People are still staring and I'm starting to get annoyed. I glare at them all, as anger rushes to my eyes. A lot of them look away, but some still look at me with a virulent stare. I look them straight in the eye, daring them to say something. I feel indomitable as they look away and mumble something about Goths and freaks. My diffident mood vanished and my confidence back as I finish out this class.  
  
The bell rings breaking the tension and the class disperses. I walk down the hall looking for my next class, science. Frowning slightly as the classroom numbers go by. Finally I reach the class, dreading it.  
When I open the door I notice two things; one, there are only eight people in the class and two, there is a really hot guy in the back.  
  
He had on black bondage pants, similar to mine, except his had chains instead of cloth straps. His black shirt unkempt as it hung loosely, and full of hoes. He had on one studded bracelet and one single silver ball chain. His black hair falling just above his shoulder and he had the clearest blue eyes I've ever seen.  
  
Pulling myself out of the trance I walk slowly and warily to the teacher. Smiling slightly she takes my schedule and looks it over. Handing it back to me, she tells me to go sit next to the hot guy. I sit in the seat next to him, tentatively.  
  
"Class this is Dil Pickles," the teacher says. "He just move here from Vegas."  
  
Whispers break out among a small group of people. They are speaking harsh words and in harsh tones, just like the people in my last two classes. My head hits the table in an attempt to block the voices out.  
  
"Hi Dil, name's Phil," the guy next to me greets in a callous voice.  
  
"Hi Phil," I reply trying not to sound nervous.  
  
"S.O.A.D huh?" he asks.  
  
"Yeah, pretty cool band," I reply trying to sound nonchalant, but failing.  
  
"So how has the bastards at the school been treating you?" he asks.  
  
"Peachy, just peachy."  
  
"I'll introduce you to the others, by the way are you related to Angelica?"  
  
"Yeah, she's my cousin."  
  
"Don't you have a brother, uh... Tommy?"   
  
"I did, but he-isn't here anymore," I whisper as dreaded memories appear in my head.  
  
"What do you mean did?"  
  
"Nevermind, I don't really like to talk about it," I mumble.  
  
"Sorry," he says.  
  
We fall into an arkward silence as the rest of the class goes by. The teacher sitting at the computer desk doing whatever. finally the bell rings and I head off to my Acting class. I get treated the same way as any other class.  
  
The minutes seem to slow down as it nears lunch, and I'm getting more jumpy. Finally the bell rings and I head off to the lunch room. Well what I thought was the way. After minutes of mindless roaming, I find my way.  
  
"Now I have to find..." I say to myself but get cut off as I find myself face to face with the floor.  
  
"Well looky here, another gothic freak for us to pick on," the football captain exclaimed, grinning madly.  
  
Swiftly I pull myself to my feet and walk away. Their taunting laughter finds its way to my ears. Then angry voices drift over to me and I look back. there he is glaring at the football player and telling him off.  
  
"You fuckin' bitch," the football player said. "Don't tell me what to fuckin' do!"  
  
"Just leave him alone, there are plenty of other people to torture!"  
  
"Fuck off, before I decide to beat the-what?"  
  
"Leave him," a girl that looked almost like Phil said in a pleading voice.  
  
"You're lucky freak," he said.  
  
"Whatever," Phil said walking towards me.  
  
"Thanks," I mumble s he leads me to the back tables.  
  
"No prob, the others aren't here yet. They have lunch detention," he said grinning.  
  
"OK."  
  
We sit there in a silence, not knowing what to say. The noise around us, scattered and I pick up on a few conversations, not really caring about them.  
  
"Are you hungry?" he asks.  
  
"What?" I ask being pulled from my thoughts.  
  
"You hungry?" came the repeated question.  
  
"Not really," I reply, truthfully I was starving, but he didn't have to know that.  
  
"Alright, I'ma go get some food, you sure you're not hungry?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll stay here."  
  
"Ok," he said getting up and leaving.  
  
Sighing deeply, I watch him walk up to the line. He stands out, bright colors surround him. Like the only black rose on a vine of a red rose bush.  
  
"Damn Dil, you're starting to sound really corny," I tell myself.  
  
Suddenly I feel a pair of eyes on me. turning slightly, I see my cousin. She's dressed in tight blue jeans that show of her hips and a tight baby tee. It's a baby blue color with 'Hottie' written across the chest. Her light blue eyes burning with disgust and her golden blond hair laying softly on her shoulder. You would never be able to guess under this nice guise is a cold person.  
  
"Dil?" she asks, coldly.  
  
"Yes?" I reply.  
  
"Where's your brother?" she asks taunting.  
  
"Where do you think?" I ask as the anger boils up.  
  
"You know its your fault he's gone."  
  
"No its not," I reply, glaring.  
  
"Face it freak, you're the cause of him leaving. He couldn't stand having a freak as a brother. Face it Dil, he hated you," she said sneering and laughing evilly.  
  
"Shut up! Tommy and I were close, he is the one that-well- if he did hate me he would have" I stuttered as realization hit me.  
  
"You know its your fault; he left because of you, freak."  
  
Shaking I get to my feet and rush out into the sunlight. Not many people are out here and it is really quiet. Sitter under a tree, I try to clear my head. Thinking back hurts me as I realize that Tommy and I were close-on a surface relationship.  
  
I feel my chest tighten as I think back. the area grew darker and suddenly I felt as if I couldn't breathe. The air was settling around me; drowning me.  
  
"Tommy why did you leave?" I whisper to no one. "Was it because of me?"  
  
Tears rush to my eyes, as I fight them back. the emotion is taking over me, I can't believe it, I'm the reason for my brother leaving-its my fault.  
  
More tears rush to my eyes, as I head toward a secluded area. There were to many people around the tree. Sliding down the wall behind the school I grab a notebook; full of thoughts, poems, and a few quotes. I take a pen and write my thoughts down. _'I can't believe its my fault.' 'Why did you leave me?' 'Why can't I just go home.' 'What's the point of living?! Especially since I'm hated.' _The bell rings pulling me from thoughts and I put my thoughts and I head toward my next class, poetry. I find the room pretty easily and the teacher seems nice. I sit in the back and listen to the lesson, free writing poetry. A few kids read poems they had wrote, which were really good. The class goes by fast, and I'm reluctant to go, it's the only class that I haven't been treated like shit.  
  
My next class is a double period, 130 minutes in this class, math. The teacher was pretty cool and let me sit anywhere I wanted to. Phil is in the class so I sat next to him. Toward the end of class the teach, Mr. T let us talk quietly to each other. Phil turned toward me and asked where I went off to during lunch.  
  
"I had to get away," I told him frowning.  
  
"What happened?" he asked concerned.  
  
"Things," I reply, not wanting to open up. _'Why do you care?'  
  
_"Look I know we just met and all, but we're friends right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"As a friend I'm asking you to open up and tell me what happened."  
  
"Come over after school and I'll tell you," I respond before I could stop the words. _'SHIT!'  
_  
"Yeah alright, where do you-" he starts but gets cut off as the bell rings.  
  
We both walk out to the buses and he asks again.  
  
"I don't know that name of the street. I ride bus ten though," I say.  
  
"No shit? Me too, along with my friends, you can finally meet them!"  
  
"Cool," I say forcing a smile. _'What if they don't like me?'  
  
_"Don't worry, they aren't like the bastards here," he says somehow knowing my fear.  
  
"Yeah, alright," I say blushing slightly. _'How did he know what I was thinking?'  
  
_Silence once again falls over us and I steal a few glances at him. the sun beating down on him, shadows forming on his face, giving him a darker look. The silk looking strands of his black hair had a tint of blue, and I'm pretty sure he dyes it. Looking down as he looks up, I hope he didn't catch me staring.  
  
'Shit he must have felt my eyes.'  
  
Suddenly the bus pulls up, Phil and I attempt to find a seat toward the middle. No luck as we are forced to the back. me on the inside, by the window. Two other kids walk over to us, one boy, and one girl. The boy had flaming red hair, streaked with black. His blue jeans semi baggy and had a black KoRn shirt on. His eyes held a questioning glint, which made his blue eyes a little darker. The girl next to him had a darker complexion. She looked Asian and had dark black hair that reached her middle back. Her black pants tight and had on a plain red shirt. She wore no make-up, which she didn't need. She had a natural beauty to her. Like the red head her deep brown eyes held question.  
  
The two of them sat in front of Phil and me. They turned in their seat and smiled kindly at us.  
  
"Hi, I'm Chuckie and this is my sister Kimi," he greeted friendly, no weird looks or harsh tones.  
  
"Hi, I'm Dil."  
  
"Are you the one that moved into the house next to us?" Phil asks.  
  
"Where do you-" I start to ask but the jerk of the bus interrupts me.  
  
"Well nevermind we'll find out," he said smiling.  
  
We fall into a nice conversation about the area. They are telling me about the things to do and places to eat. Where to go for alone time, and what area's are full of bastards. In return I told them about Vegas and what I used to do. After about ten minutes we got to my stop, which ended up being their stop to.  
  
"Alright guys I'll hit you up later," Phil said as we head toward my house.  
  
I feel kinda bad because I didn't invite them, but I know it would be hard enough to tell Phil. Sighing deeply, we enter my house. My parents are gone, on another search for my brother. I lead him up to my room.  
  
The walls are stark expect for the brown boxes that line them. My twin size bed sits in the middle and my dresser by the window. Throwing our bags on the floor we settle down on the carpet.  
  
"Nice room, very plain," he comments in a joking manner.  
  
"Yeah I know," I reply.  
  
My numerous poster still in the boxes, along with all my other stuff. Moving really does blow, especially with out Tommy.  
  
"I'll help you unpack if you want," he offers.  
  
"Sure, later thought long day," I say thankful for the help and him staying longer.  
  
"So, I don't want to seem pushy, but what happened at lunch?"  
  
"Remember I told you how I once had a brother?" I say after a brief silence.

He nods and I continue. "Well my 'lovable' cousin decided to have fun. I've always blamed myself for his leaving-"  
  
"Leaving?"  
  
"Er-he ran away six months ago. Anyways we had always been close and like one day he came to me and was like 'I can't live like this.' I asked him what he meant, but he didn't answer. He just handed me a box, which had the choker I am wearing, and left. I couldn't have stopped him, maybe if I wasn't such a freak he would have left me-alone." I say as tears rush to my eyes for what seems like the hundredth time.  
  
"I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Look your cousin is a bitch, she must've known what she said would have gotten to you."  
  
"You know understand, what she said was true. Tommy and I were complete opposites, he was football captain, everyone loved him. Where as I was the little freak, who was ignored. No one picked on me; because of Tommy. He kept them in check. Maybe if I wasn't such a freak he would have had that pressure and maybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe we would have been closer, and maybe he wouldn't have been so ashamed." I tell him as the tears fell down my face as I hastily wipe them away.  
  
Warmth fills my body as he pulls me into a hug. I grasp onto him for dear life; as I cry and cry. He keeps telling me that it wasn't my fault, but I don't believe him. How could I when I'm nothing but a little weak gothic freak. Someone who doesn't deserve friends, or life. I try to pull away for him, but he just holds harder until I finally give in.  
  
The tears soon stop falling and I look up at him, blushing. He smiles at me and tells me it's OK. Both of us get up and decide to unpack my room. After a few hours of unpacking and hanging up poster we take a break. We sit on my bed, and I look over my room grinning at it now. My posters of metal, punk, Goth, emo, and many other rock bands hang on the walls. My dresser now full of the swords, knifes, daggers and other things I collect. The one looks like the one I left behind, but it feels different.  
  
Phil leaves and tells me he would catch me later. That night I la in my bed and think about him, finding it hard to get to sleep. It is about one before I finally fall into a fitful sleep. The next day was just as bad as the first, but now I have friends to suffer with.  
  
Months pass and Phil and I grow closer. My parents and I are still searching for my brother. It is about five in the morning when my cell starts to rind. Groaning, I crawl out of my warm, comfortable bed and answer it.  
  
"Hello?" I ask sleepily.  
  
"Dil?" a familiar voice came through.  
  
"Oh shit, is it rea-really y-you?" I ask hoping this isn't some sick joke.  
  
"Yes Dil its Tommy," the voice says.  
  
"Oh god, T, where are you? Why did you go? Why did you leave me here alone?" I ask choking back tears.  
  
"I had to get away, the pressure, the stress."  
  
"I'm sorry T," I say still fighting tears of joy, and tears of guilt.  
  
"For what?" he asks concerned. "Oh god Dil you don't blame yourself do you?"  
  
"I do, I'm a freak."  
  
"You're not a freak."  
  
"Yes I a, that's why you left, because I was a little freak. Everyone hated me and you had to stand up for me daily."  
  
"Don't say that, I didn't leave because of you. I left because I had to get away from it all.  
  
D, it was me being something I'm not. Man I wish I was like you; you didn't care what others thought of you. Me, I was scared that if I did something wrong I would lose my '_friends_.'"  
  
"T, you left and I've blamed myself everyday. I still blame myself," I say finally letting the tears go. "Are you ever coming back? Are you ever coming home?"  
  
"I don't know D. I don't even know where you guys are anymore."  
  
"T, we moved you can start a new life. You can finally be yourself, there are really nice people here, please come home," I plead.  
  
"I might, give me a week to think about it."  
  
"Alright, but atleast visit, mom and dad are so worried. We have held multiple searches for you."   
  
"Tell them I'm safe and I'll think about coming home. I'll call Monday, that's two days from now with my answer, OK?"  
  
"Yeah, alright, but T I gotta get some sleep, I'm going out tomorrow-well this morning."  
  
"With who?"  
  
"A few friends, you would love them. You know Angie blamed me for your leaving. I still blame myself."  
  
"Don't and I'll talk to you later bro."  
  
"Bye T, I miss you and love you bro."  
  
"Love you too, Dil," he said hanging up the phone.  
  
Suddenly I feel warmth on my cheeks, fresh tears are falling. Just then I realize how much I actually miss my brother. The only one that has never judged me and never hated me. Crawling to my bed I fall into another fitful sleep.  
  
The next morning is hell as I wake up. I shower and dress in full black, like always. I look in the mirror and I see dead, blood-shot eyes. A pale sullen face, and I feel the need to help this person; that is until I notice its myself. Gasping I look away and hurry over to Phil's house. He knows how to comfort me, make me smile.  
  
Knocking on the door, I silently hope Phil answers and not his twin sister, Lillian. After a moment grinning face answers the door, its Phil. '_Thanks_.' His happy face turns into a concern one as he pulls me into his house. We go up to his room and he asks me what's wrong. I can't help but break down and tell him everything; how Tommy called, how much I miss him and a lot of other stuff. His strong arms pull me into him and I can't help but calm down.  
  
I look up at him and smile, he smiles back. Before I know what happen I kiss him. Pulling back suddenly I mumble a sorry. He looks at me in shock.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm just going-I can't believe-I'm sorry," I keep saying trying to get out of the room.  
  
"Look don't be, you don't know how long I've wanted you to do that," he replies grabbing my arm and pulling me into him.  
  
He slowly, almost like he was trying to torture me, pulls me into a kiss. I lean upwards and our lips meet in a gentle kiss. His tongue slowly runs over mine; asking for permission. I part my lips for him as we stand there kissing.  
  
When we break apart my knees feel weak and I feel like I'm floating. Our faces are flushed and I can't help but smile widely. He smiles back at me and I know that even if they whole would didn't accept me, one person did. The person I cared about. Another thing is my brother didn't care and didn't think I was a freak. He still cared for me, even as I went through a big change. Two of the most important people in my life liked me and I could care less what the world thought. I had found acceptance in two very special people and that's all I needed.  
  
fin  
  
A/N: Well what did you think? WMoOC's next chapt will be out soon... hopefully... ::grin:: Anywho I'ma go now. Review please! I'll love you forever and a day! They might help me get the next chapt to WMoOC out faster... hehe well I need to answer this IM so peace. Oh before I go... I know Angelica was suppose to graduate already, but she failed a year. Yeah I know not like her, but I needed someone to be a bitch to Dil so yeah. Uhh the kids are in high, Chuck's in 12th. Kimi and Phil are both in 11th. and Dil is in 10th. Any questions ask me! AIM: FucEmotions, Yahoo: Lakiepoo89 and MSN: lake89115 ok leaving now OH and again please no flames... Unless you hated my writing and not the fact it had slash.  
  
Lake


	2. One Day

**Road To Acceptance  
  
Summary: Basically the first chapter in Phil's POV...  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own... enough said. If you sue all you will get is about 10 dollars, my new puppy and bass... actually you can have the puppy, just leave my money and bass! ::grin::  
  
Warnings: Contains some slash  
  
A/N: Hmm... longest chapter ever written! Go me! ::grin:: not really anywho... I wanted to write the story in Phil's POV to help explain things? hehe ok not really I just wanted to do another chapter... Ok go read now... enjoy...**

* * *

_'I see billboards on the horizon  
I can imagine  
what they'll tell me  
What to wear  
What to drink  
Where to eat  
It's so easy not to think  
for youself anymore'_- New Found Glory's No News is Good News  
  
_'By now I should have been somewhere  
or gone to school, or fixed my hair  
back down tell it to someone else  
who gives a shit and needs your help  
cause I've found  
__  
What I needed and I  
don't need you to tell me how you feel  
and if I fall you are  
not the one that has to cope and deal  
all my problems are for me...  
  
All my problems are for me  
I don't need your eyes to see  
I will be what I will be'_- Smile Empty Soul's All My Problems

* * *

Groaning as the bright light fell so heavily over my closed eyes, I turn to my side. Attempting to block the bright rays, I pull my black fuzzy comforter over my head and drift off into a light sleep. Atleast I try to as my twin sister demands I get up. I look over and her and fake a small smile.  
  
We were so close when we were younger; what happened? She forces a smile back at me and pushes me off the bed. Laughing lightly, I pull her down on the floor beside me.  
  
"Ugh, what was that for?" I ask rubbing my head, who has just met the floor.  
  
"Because, now hurry up," she replies glaring and pulling herself off the floor.  
  
"I hate you, sis," I mumble.  
  
"Yeah, and I hate you," she replies.  
  
I get up from the floor and head to my closet. I grab out my black chained-bondage pants, and a black t-shirt. My sister stares at them in disgust. She hates my choice in clothes, its a proven fact.  
  
"Why do you wear that crap? If you wore decent clothes then people would actually like you," she tells me. "I mean haven't you heard about fashion?"  
  
"Why do you care about what other people's views? They're worthless, wouldn't you like to act the way you wanted?" I ask in a defensive tone.  
  
"I do what I want," she replies sounding insulted.  
  
"Whatever, Lil you're my sis and I'll always love you, but back off. I mean I don't tell you what to wear or how to act," I say.  
  
"You're so difficult!" she replies turning on her heel and storming out of my room.  
  
_'What the fuck?' _I think as I head toward the bathroom. _'Shower time!'  
  
_Sighing deeply, I step into the steaming hot spray of water. I grab the shampoo and start to shampoo my hair as I fall into thoughts.  
  
Just two years ago Lil and I were inseparable. Now we are at each others throats, and acting like we don't know each other. Man, seriously what happened to us? Why did we drift apart so much?  
  
Feeling depressed I finsh up my shower and get ready for another useless day at school. I skip over doing my hair and head downstairs. The chains on my pants hitting against each other, creating a dinging sound. As I enter the kitchen my sister gives me a slight glare and my 'rents greet me.  
  
"I'm gonna skip breakfast, I'm not to hungry," I tell them, hoping they let me go.  
  
"Ok Philly, atleast take something with you," my mom says. "We'll talk after school." she mumbles as I pass by her.  
  
She always seems to know when something is wrong. It's like a weird mother vibe or something. Nodding slightly, I grab a muffin and trudge out of the house. My Vans are alittle to big and fall off my feet slightly as I walk toward the bus stop.   
  
My two great friends Chuckie and Kimi are already there. They wave over at me as I hurry over to them.   
  
"Hey guys," I greet as I walk up.  
  
"Yo Phil," Chukie replies.  
  
Chuckie has flaming red hair with some black in it. He's wearing semi-baggy pants and a black KoRn shirt. He has the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen. And I've seen many blues eyes. Kimi is asian and has on tight black pants with a red shirt. She doesn't wear make-up and is really pretty without it.   
  
Kimi and Chuckie are step siblings. Their father and mother met in Paris, for a convention. Kira and Chaz got along well and before we knew it, they were married. One thing I find really weird about this family is that the two girl's names start with a 'K' and the two guys a 'C.'   
  
Kimi and I went out for some time before, but just recently I found out that I wasn't attracted to girls, but to guys. I was shocked by this discovery, but Chuckie, Kimi, and my parents supported me. Lil, on the other hand, wasn't so supportive, but she got over it. Other than my friends and family no one else knows, and I hope it stays that way.  
  
"Phil?" someone calls as I see a hand waving in my face.  
  
"Hu-huh?" I ask dazed.  
  
"Dude, you totally spaced out. As I was saying, have you met your new neighbor yet?" Chuckie asks.  
  
"No, I hear they have a kid, younger," I reply.  
  
"What school?"  
  
"Don't know, maybe ours," I reply. "Mom said that they were related to Angelica, the almighty bitch."  
  
"Arg, great another snuck-up, close-minded person," Kimi mumbles under her breath.  
  
"Maybe," Chuckie says.  
  
"Most likely."  
  
"Well, we will just have to see for ourselves, that is if we met him today," I tell them as the bus pulls up.  
  
We all get on the bus, the front seats are taken by the smarter kids, the middle by the jocks and cheerleaders. Which leaves the back to the freaks, and other non-cool kids. I really don't understand the different standards and labels. It's a bunch of bull shit to me, but then again it's what the people on TV say. You have to dress this way and all this shit. I guess some kids just want to be accepted, loved.  
  
Sighing deeply we take our usual seats in the back, but not before some stupid ass trips me. Standing up I glare over at my sister's boyfriend and captain of the football team. Flicking him off, I resume my walk to the back of the bus. He's glaring daggers at the back of my head, it brings a smirk to my face.  
  
"Dumbass," I mumble sitting by myself, Chuckie and Kimi in front of me.  
  
"Man, sometimes I wish I could just beat the shit out of them," Chuckie says.  
  
"Yeah right, you beat them up? Bro, they will kill you before you even get one hit in. No offence, but bro you're a wimp," Kimi said smiling.  
  
"Gee, thanks Kimi. That makes me more confident," he said slightly hitting the back of her head.  
  
"Arg, you suck," she mumbles.  
  
I watch the scene in amusment, they always fight. It's like they are blood related or something. It's really funny to watch. Sighing, I turn toward the window, thinking about Lil and me again.   
  
I still can't believe we are so distant. It's like really sad if you look at it, I mean we are twins. Shouldn't we have a stronger bond than any other family member? It's all just so confusing.  
  
"Yo, Phil man, what's eating you?" Chuckie asked. "You keep spacing out and getting the depressed look."  
  
"Aw, it's nothing man, same shit." I mumble smiling.  
  
"Right, but dude come on we are you're friends."  
  
"No worries, just family stuff. You know,"  
  
"Right," Kimi says sounding worried.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm not gonna go home and kill myself."  
  
"Good boy, changing subject," Kimi said. "Mood got to serious for me."  
  
The three of us start to laugh and talk about a lighter subject. We arrive at school, and slowly get off the bus.   
  
"Ready for another day of being called freak and being glared at?" I ask them.  
  
"Yes," they replied.  
  
"Good," I say.  
  
The whole name-calling thing has become a game to use. Who ever is called the most names in the day get's a free soda at lunch. We head toward our usual hangout spot, heads held high.   
  
"Hey, Chuck what's that on your shirt?" I ask.  
  
"What, it's nothing, hey!"  
  
"Ha, got you again."  
  
"Man Chuckie you fall for that every single time."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Not nice to tell people to shut up! I mean, like, it, like, hurts, like, my ears!" I explain trying my best to do a girly voice.  
  
"If you ever do that again I will personally kill you," Kimi told me pushing me.  
  
Just as I was about to tell her off the bell rings, we all head of to different classes. I have English first, Chuckie has AP Math, and Kimi History. I make it to my class just as the bell rings. The teacher smiles at me as I walk to the back.  
  
My teacher in this class is one of the nicer teachers. She doesn't allow outside looks to interfere with her- teaching skills? Well let's try again, she doesn't judge based on outside appearance. That sounds better. The class goes by slow, and I've been called freak five times and weird freak three times. Smiling slightly, I write that down, I'm winning the drink today.  
  
The bell rings alittle later and I head toward second period, History. Kimi is just leaving the class as I walk up.  
  
"Yo Kimi I have eight names so far! How bout you?" I ask grinning.  
  
"Um, I lost count after twenty-five," She says laughing.  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"No, I have five so far."  
  
"Loser, get to class. Hey now you have six!"  
  
"Dork, see you in forth, that is if you show up."  
  
"I'll be there, now get to class!" I demand grinning. _'Did she just flick me off? Oh no way! She will pay! PAY I SAY! Hey that rhymes. '  
_  
I watch her walk down the hall, as she turned the corner I walk in. My second period teacher is one of the worst teachers ever. Well he is a really good teacher, but very strict. He thinks I'm a trouble maker so he watches me at all times. I don't know why though, it's usually the football players who cause the most trouble, but for some odd reason he always overlooks it.  
  
"Ok class today-" he starts his lesson and I space out not caring about what he is saying. I'll just get the notes from Kimi later.  
  
_'Bored, bored, bored-hey what's that? Dude there is a bug on my desk, awesome!' _runs through my head as I poke at the bug. _'Heh, run free man! RUN!'  
  
_"Phil?!" someone yells as I look up.  
  
"Uhh-yeah?" I ask.  
  
"Is there someone you would like to introduce to the class?" he asks sounding a little pissed, but just a little bit.  
  
"Huh? What are you--oh you mean the bug? Naw, he's just peachy, doesn't need anymore friends. Thanks for offering though," I reply cheeky.  
  
"Detention, tomorrow at lunch," he says sounding a little more pissed, but just a little more.  
  
_'Oh yay, lunch detention,' _I think. "Uh sir, since I already have detention, can I release my buddy back into the wild. The people in here are making him slightly uncomfortable," I question trying to hide a smile.  
  
"Would you like to add another detention?"  
  
"Um, no sir, but the bug he's scared." I tell him. _'Of your face that is!'  
  
_"Phil get out of my class, I don't want to see you for the rest of the-" he was cut off by the bell ringing.  
  
"Bye sir, come along Mr. Flannigan Jr." I say cheerfully heading off to my third period class, biology, Mr. Flannigan glaring at me. "Once again bye teach, mad props dawg!"  
  
A few people walk by me and give me an evil look, some even mutter mean things under their breath. Sighing deeply, I write down the names and number of times I've been called it. Turning toward the name-callers I say:  
  
"You guys do know by calling me freak and stuff you are helping me get a free soda? And I thought you were trying to make my life hell."  
  
They give me a certain finger, which isn't very nice, and continue walking down the hall. Sighing again I head toward my next class. Another class were I am outcasted, worst thing is there is only eight people in it, that includes me. Sitting in my usual seat, I stare up at the clock, everyone has already arrived and is sitting on the opposite side of the room.  
  
The door creaks open and in comes this hot guy. He has on bondage pants similar to mine, his are cloth instead. He's System of A Down shirt hangs loosely and his many chains lie lightly on it. The one thing that catches my eye, a spiked leather choker.   
  
_'Oh yes, hottie in the class,' _I think as I start intently at my desk and I feel his eyes on me. _'Oh yes score!'_  
  
"Class this is Dil Pickles," Mrs. Lambert says after a few minutes of silence. "He just moved here from Vegas."  
  
Across the room harsh whispers break out, I can see he is feeling uncomfortable. Relief fills me as Mrs. L. told him to sit next to me. I figure I'll greet him in an emotionless voice, see if he is a jerk like the others or not. Wait he's Dil Pickles, maybe he's the one that just moved in. I remember mom saying that their son's name was Dil. Might as well ask him, later.  
  
"Hi Dil, name's Phil," I mumble.  
  
"Hi Phil," he replies, nervously.  
  
"S.O.A.D huh?" I ask trying to get him to feel more comfortable.  
  
"Yeah, pretty cool band," he said trying to sound cool, not quite working.  
  
"So how have the bastards at this school been treating you?"  
  
"Peachy, just peachy."  
  
"I'll introduce you to the others, by the way are you related to Angelica?" I ask, hoping he wasn't. 'Please don't be, please don't be. Well atleast don't be like her.'  
  
"Yeah, she's my cousin."   
  
_'He doesn't seem to happy about that, score! Wait isn't he suppose to have a brother?' _I ponder. "Don't you have a brother, uh... Tommy?"  
  
"I did, but he uh- isn't here anymore," he says in a small voice, and I see a speck of pain in his eyes.  
  
"What do you mean did?" I think, but in reality I ask him. _**'FUCK!'**_  
  
"Nevermind, I don't really like talking about it."  
  
"Sorry," I mumble. _'Shit, I screwed this shit up. Fuck, I'm such a dumbass.'  
  
_I get lost in my thoughts as we fall quiet. I can't believe I asked him that, without meaning to. I really am a dumbass. Sighing deeply, I wish Mrs. L would get up from the computer and actually teach us something today. She does this everything other day, sits behind the computer and checks her email. Either that or she works on the Cross-country website.  
  
Before I know it the class has ended and I'm heading to my glass making class. Why I signed up for this class I will never know, and why they have one-I don't wanna know. Good thing about this class is that Chuckie and Kimi is in it, and the teacher is decent.  
  
Kimi and Chuckie are already there as I enter the class room. Mr. Flannigan Jr. still in my hand. Grinning evilly I walk over to my two best friends, a plan forming in my head.  
  
"You have to be kidding!" Chuckie exclaims in a worried voice.  
  
"Nope, I am completely serious!" I reply.  
  
"Alright let's get this thing underway!" Kimi butts in grinning madly.  
  
Smiling slightly, I get up from my seat and walk over to the teachers desk. My buddy was left with Kimi and Chuckie. I start to talk to my teacher about an assignment that is due in a few weeks. As I do that, Kimi sneaks up behind on of the most popular girls in school, Mr. Flannigan Jr. in her hand. Chuckie is sitting in the back watching the scene, as soon as I told him about it he said no. He is one of the smartest kids in school, and he is afraid to ruin his perfect record.  
  
Smirking, I watch Kimi walk up behind one of the Mr. Belkin's favorite students. Silently she walks up behind her and drops Mr. Flannigan Jr. on her back. Causing Kay to shriek and drop a vase she was working on. As it hit the floor is scattered creating a loud crash. Mr. Belkin rushes over to her and tries to help her get the bug. My buddy scrambles away from their hands as she does an amusing dance to try and get the offending creature off of her.   
  
Kimi walks over to me with an amused smile on her face. Grinning back at her, we turn to Chuckie who looks close to laughter. We walk over there, our smiles small and hopefully nobody notices them.  
  
"That was priceless, but we made her break the vase," Chuckie mumbles as we reach the table.  
  
"That's true, but how about all the times she made us drop our projects and stuff," I tell him trying to ease his guilt.  
  
"Yeah bro, I mean so many 'F's' we go because of them and they always get away with it," she tells him.  
  
"True."  
  
"Hmm... how much you wanna bet they are gonna blame it on us?" I ask grinning.  
  
"Three, two, one," Kimi counted down, as soon as she hit one we were called up to the teacher's desk.  
  
"I know you three did it," he said sounding pissed, just like Mr. Flannigan.   
  
_'I really need to stop pissing my teachers off.'_  
  
"Phil," someone calls him and I wipe the amused smirk off my face as I realize who did. "Which one of you came up with this plan?"  
  
"I did," we all said at once.  
  
"All three of you?"  
  
"Well you see sir, it was me," I mumbled.  
  
"He's lying sir, I did it," Chuckie spoke up.  
  
"And I helped him," Kimi mumbled. "I put the bug on her. Phil couldn't have done it he was with you the whole time."  
  
"That's true, Kimi and Chuckie detention at lunch today. Chuckie I'm dissappointed in you, your perfect record. You really should consider getting new friends."  
  
Ignoring the last comment we head back to our table. The kids in the class glaring at us and mumbling under the breath. I'm not sure what they are saying but I'm pretty sure it's not very nice.  
  
"Why did you guys take the blame?" I ask as we sit.  
  
"Remember what he said last time. One more screw up and he's calling your mother," Chuckie said. "Then your ass is grounded."  
  
"Oh yeah, well thanks guys," I tell them.  
  
"What are friends for? Now we can cause trouble here at lunch!"  
  
"Guys do you think I'll ever see Mr. Flannigan Jr. again?" I ask in a dramatic voice.  
  
"I think they killed him."  
  
"They killed Flannigan Jr.! Those bastards!"   
  
The two of them gave me a weird look and we starts to laugh. Mr. B looks over at us and tells us to be quiet. The other kids in the class just give us dirty looks and continue their projects.  
  
"Remind me why we signed up for this class," I comment.  
  
"Because it looked like an easy A," Kimi replies.  
  
"Keyword is 'looked'," I mumble.  
  
"True dat dawg," Chuckie says trying to sound gangsta.  
  
"Don't ever do that again."  
  
"Don't worry I won't," he says as the bell rings. "And if I do I give you permission to beat the crap out of me."   
  
"I'll catch you guys at lunch, so hurry over I want you to meet someone."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"A new kid in my bio class," I tell them.  
  
"Hot?" Kimi ask.  
  
"Hell yes, I have to go meet him. So I'll catch up with you people later, peace."  
  
They say their byes and I head out the door and toward the lunch room. Upon entering I see Dil pulling himself up off the floor and football captain laughing. Anger surges though my body as I see Dil look down at the floor. I quickly head over to him, but the urge to tell Rob off is just to strong to ignore.  
  
"Fucker, you leave him alone," I say getting up into Rob's face.  
  
"Make me," he replies in a calm voice.  
  
"Fuck you, he doesn't need your shit. Can't you find someone else to pick on today?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Leave him alone, or else," I say in a deadly calm voice.  
  
"You fuckin' bitch," Rob exclaimed. "Don't tell me what to fuckin' do!"  
  
"Look leave him alone, there are plenty of other people to torture!" I reply anger still surging through my body. _'Stay calm, don't start a fight.'  
  
_"Fuck off, before I decided to beat the-what?" he started to say before my sister cut him off.  
  
"Leave him," she told him in a pleading voice.  
  
"You're lucky freak."  
  
"Whatever," I reply not really caring. _'Lil stood up for me once, I'm surprise. And I didn't exactly tell him off, what's up with me today?'  
  
_I turn and head toward Dil who is standing. I'm pretty sure he saw that had just happened, and I feel a bit proud.  
  
"Thanks," he says in his quiet, sweet voice.  
  
"No prob, the others aren't here yet. They have lunch detention," I tell him grinning. _'Oh that prank was so awesome.'_  
  
"Ok."  
  
We fall into an uncomfortable silence, not quite knowing what to say. I'm usually calm and collected and know just what to say, but around him I'm a wreck. So many thoughts run through my head and it's just so confusing. Plus I'm scared I'm going to reveal to much to him and he won't accept me. The growling of my stomach pulls me from my thoughts.  
  
"Are you hungry?" I ask.  
  
"What?" he said coming out of thoughts.  
  
_'I wonder what he's thinking.' _pops into my head. "You hungry?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
I knew he was lying, I could see it in his eyes, but I couldn't say anything. I didn't want to seem like a controlling person, I'll just grab him something anyways. Act like I just took to much or something.  
  
"Alright, I'ma go get some food, you sure you're not hungry?" I ask once more.  
  
"Yeah, I'll stay here."  
  
"Ok," I reply getting up and walking toward the line.  
  
Everyone around me was in bright colors and actually ignoring me. Usually I have about five people cutting in front of me or pushing me around. I'm grateful that no one is bugging me, I didn't want Dil to see me get pissed, well see me pissed again. Smiling, I feel his eyes on me and I look up a little. As I look up I see Angelica walk over to him, an evil smirk on her face. I don't get to see what she is saying, because I am pushed into the food area.  
  
It takes awhile for me to get out because people don't seem to know what a line is. As I leave I head back over to the table, noting two things. **One: Dil isn't there and two: Chuckie and Kimi are sitting there with food already.  
**  
"How did you get the food? I was here before you!" I ask in disbelief.  
  
"Mr. B gave us some, he said something about gross school lunch," Chuckie said.  
  
"Damn I wish I would have stayed for detention."  
  
"Heh, so let's see who has the most names?" Chuckie ask. "And where is the person that you were introducing us to?"  
  
"Oh shit, I forgot, I don't know where he ran off to. Think we should look for him?" I ask.  
  
"We should," Kimi said getting up.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"We'll skip the free soda thing today. Last time I saw him Angelica was saying something to him. That stupid bitch."  
  
"True."  
  
We headed out into the quad area were a few kids hang out. He was nowhere to be found, so we checked each hallway. Still nothing, he wasn't in the bathrooms or the gym.  
  
"Damn guys, he's a good hider," I say grinning widely. "He would have ruled at Hide-and-seek."  
  
"Heh, think he's behind the school?" Kimi asks. "I used to go there to think."  
  
"Let's check," I say as we head toward the back.   
  
"Guys we have about one minut-" Chuckie says as the bell rings ending lunch. "I stand corrected, come on we have to go to class. I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere."   
  
"Yeah alright."  
  
I head off toward my Latin class, Dil still running through my head. I'm hoping Angelica didn't say anything to harsh to him, I mean they are related after all. I'm suddently pulled out of my thoughts as my teacher calls on me to translate some stuff. Sighing quietly I translate some old text thing.  
  
Latin flys by and before I know it I'm in Algebra two. Sitting in my usual seat I'm surprised to see Dil enter the class. He hads Mr. Turner, or Mr. T as the everyone calls him, his shedule. Mr. T allows him to sit anywhere, and he picks a seat near mine.   
  
_'Yes, he's safe and chose a seat near me,' _was the only thing running through my head during the whole class.  
  
The class seems to fly by, and before I know it we are able to talk quietly to each other. Turning toward Dil I ask him where he ran off to during lunch.  
  
"I had to get away," he said a frown present on his face.  
  
"What happened?" I ask. _'Stupid Angelica.'  
_  
"Things," he says looking down.  
  
"Look I know we just met and all, but we're friends right?" I ask. _'Please say yes!'_  
  
"Yeah," he says still looking down at the desk.  
  
"As a friend I'm asking you to open up and tell me what happened," I tell him hoping I don't sound like I'm pleading. _'Damn I've never felt like this, helping someone I only met a few hours ago. I still hope he tells me though.'_  
  
"Come after school and I'll tell you," he blurts out, without thinking.  
  
"Yeah alright, where do you-" I'm cut off by the bell releasing us from this dreadful place.   
  
As we walk towards the bus area I ask him again. I already know he's my neighbor but he doesn't need to know that I know.   
  
"I don't know the name of the street, I ride bus ten though," he mumbles.  
  
"No shit? Me too, along with my friends, you can finally meet them!" I exclaim, in a fake surprised voice. _'I am so good! Maybe I should take up acting!'_  
  
"Cool," he states forcing a smile.  
  
"Don't worry, they aren't like the bastards here," I tell him. _'Oh yeah you are so good at reading minds. Maybe I should become a mind reader, what's the actual term again? I know I can become an actor who reads people's minds!'_  
  
"Yeah, alright," he replies as a cute blush appears on his pale face.  
  
The area around us becomes quiet, I'm staring at the ground, pondering. I wonder what it would be like to hold him, how soft his lips are.   
  
_'Shit, you can't be thinking like that. You barely know the kid, and he's younger! Plus you don't know if he even likes guys.' _  
  
Suddently I feel eyes on me, and I look over at my right. I see Dil's head snap away and look at the ground. I small blush appears on his face. Grinning inwardly, the bus pulls up and we head over to it. I'm hoping to get a middle seat for one, I'm sick of the back already. I'm not lucky enough, we are forced to sit in the back. Dil and I share a seat, he's by the window and I'm on the outside.  
  
Soon enough Chuckie and Kimi board the bus. They luckily get the seat in front of Dil and me. Grinning slightly, Chuckie and Kimi turn around. A questioning look in their eyes. Nodding slightly, I give them a reassuring smile.  
  
"Hi I'm Chuckie," he starts, "And this is my sister Kimi."  
  
"Hi, I'm Dil," he replies in a small voice.  
  
"Are you the one that moved into the house next to us?" I ask. _'Well duh! I know the answer yet I have to ask. I'm a dumbass'  
_  
"Where do you-" he starts to question, but is cut off by the jerk of the bus.  
  
"Well nevermind, we'll find out!" I exclaiming, grinning. _'I already know!'  
_  
Chuckie, Kimi, and I tell Dil about all the good hang-out spots and who to avoid. We share stories about stupid stuff that happens at our school. In return he tells us about his experince in Vegas.  
  
"Oh and there was this one time I was in middle school. The principal decided to RPC, Required Parent Conference, if you didn't do your homework. Half the school was RPCed, it was so awesome," he tells us.  
  
"Really? Wow that's kinda ghetto," Kimi says.  
  
"Yeah I know, but you should have see the neighborhood! Every house had bars on the doors and windows. Almost every house had either a pit bull or some other mean dog," he says smiling. "Vegas rules, but that place is so run-down."  
  
As he said that we jerked to the stop. Forcing us to fly foward a little bit. To my _surprise _Dil gets off at our stop. Grinning inwardly, I say bye to Chuckie and Kimi. They give us a small wave and nod and head off toward their house. Dil looks guilty, and I wonder if it's because he's telling me this and not them.   
  
_'I hope he still tells me. I really want to know what happened. Damn it! Why do I care so much? I just met the kid today!'_  
  
A sigh pulls me from my thoughts as we enter his house. His parents are no where to be found, which is a good thing and a bad thing. Frowning, I remember I was suppose to talk to my mom after school, oh well. I admire the house around me as we head upstairs to his room.  
  
As we enter his room I notice that there is nothing in it. The only thing I can see is a bed, dresser and a few boxes. His walls are white and bare, kinda scary if you ask me. Before he moved in there was a girl that lived here. Her walls were plastered in posters of boy bands and pink heart things. We throw our stuff to the floor and down. I'm leaning against his twin size bed, taking in everything.  
  
"Nice room, very plain," I say in a joking tone.  
  
"Yeah I know," he replies smiling slightly, worry still in his eyes.  
  
"I'll help you unpack, if you want," I offer trying to change the subject for the time being. _'I hope you say yes to the offer, if you do I get to stay longer!'_  
  
"Sure, later though... long day," he replies looking thankful, and a little excited?  
  
"So, I don't want to seem to pushy but what happened at lunch?" I ask after a moment of silence. _'Please don't pull away, please don't!'  
_  
The room falls quiet and he seems to be debating with himself. Looking up I see an odd glint, determination? As I stare into his eyes I get lost and I'm pulled out when he starts to talk.  
  
"Remember I told you I once had a brother?" he asks and I nod. "Well my _loveable cousin _cousin decided to have fun. I've always blamed myself for his leaving-"  
  
"Leaving?" I question.  
  
"Er-he ran away six months ago. Anyways we had always been close and like one day he came to me and was like 'I can't live like this.' I asked him what he meant, but he didn't answer. He just handed me a box, which had the chocker I am wearing, and left. I couldn't have stopped him, maybe if I wasn't such a freak he wouldn't have left me-alone," he tells me, his voice cracks slightly and tears rush to his eyes.  
  
"I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Look your cousin is a bitch, she must've known what she said would have gotten to you," I try to tell him, but he doesn't believe it. _'He really believes it was his fault, Angelica is so gonna pay when I leave. So gonna pay.Ok maybe not, but I can dream can't I?'_  
  
"You don't understand, what she said was true. Tommy and I were complete opposites, he was football captain, everyone loved him. Where as I was the little freak, who was ignored. No one picked on me, because of Tommy. He kept them in check. Maybe if I wasn't such a freak he would haven't had the pressure and meybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe we would have been closer, and maybe he wouldn't have been so ashamed," he tells me as the tears run down his face, and he tries to wipe them away without me noticing.  
  
_'My god, how can he blame himself for this? It couldn't have been his fault, I mean he's bro sounds like he wouldn't have cared.' _I think as I do the only thing that seems right, hold him until he calms down.  
  
"It wasn't your fault," I whisper to him as he grabs on to me. Out of nowhere he attempts to break away from me. _'Not happening.' _I grab on to him harder; until he finally gives in.  
  
Soon his tears are gone and the only thing that could be heard was his sniffling. He looks up at me blushing.  
  
"It's ok, feel better?" I ask as he nods.  
  
A silent agreement is formed, and we both get up and start unpacking his posters and other objects. It's takes us hours to unpack and hang the posters up, along with finding all his swords and daggers. Which are pretty sweet, hopefully he doesn't use them to harm himself. Soon enough we are done and his room looks pretty awesome, it isn't so bare.   
  
"Yo Dil, man I really don't want to go, but I have to," I tell him, dreading the departure. "I'll see you tomorrow though."  
  
"Yeah alright," he tells me. "Thanks."  
  
"No prob," I reply as I grab my stuff and he walks me out. _'Hmm... its dark out was I really there for that long. I wonder what time it is, and what we're having for dinner.'_  
  
"Phil?" someone calls from behind me.  
  
"What?" I ask as the person comes into closer view.  
  
"Where have you been?" she asks.  
  
"Friends house, Lil," I reply. "What about you?"  
  
"Rob's, and who's your friend?"  
  
"Dil Pickles."  
  
"The neighbor? I heard he made his brother move out, why do you want to hang with him?"  
  
"Shut up, he didn't make his bro move out. That's just fuckin' rumors and because unlike some people I know, he's really nice."  
  
"And you think he's hot," she says taunting.  
  
"Shh... anyone can hear you," I tell her in a harsh whisper.  
  
"That's nice, but admit it you do, you wouldn't have stuck up for him if you didn't."  
  
"Whatever," I mumble as we enter the house. "Mom, I'm home."  
  
"Phil! Where were you? We were suppose to have a mom-to-son talk this afternoon!"  
  
"Sorry mom, I went over to a friends house."  
  
"I called Chuck, they said you weren't there."  
  
"No I was at Dil's house, the neighbor," I tell her and her face lights up.  
  
"That's great! I knew you two would become fast friends!" she says a weird smile on her face.  
  
'I wonder what she knows, and I don't.'  
  
"Mom what's for dinner?" Lil asks.  
  
"Get your own night," she says. "Your father and I have cooked every night for the last week, we deserve a break."  
  
"Yeah alright," we say together.  
  
_'What to eat, what to eat?' _I chant in my head as I search for some food. I decided on a frozen pizza. "Want one?" I ask my sister.  
  
"Yeah sure," she replies.  
  
I grab two of them and put them on a pizza pan. Pre-heating the oven I sit on one of the chairs and wait for it to pre-heat. After about five minutes the little beeping thing goes off and I get off and pop the pizza into the oven.   
  
The room is quiet and very boring. I stare up at the light cover and count the little dots on it. As soon as I get to the last few the oven beeps making me loose my place. Saying a few choice words under my breath I get up and retreive the food. I usually don't wait for it to cool down, and this time isn't different.  
  
"Foods ready," I tell my sister as I enter the living room.  
  
"You're crazy, eating it straight out of the oven."  
  
"It's better when it's still really hot, plus its fun."  
  
"Right," she says turing her attention back to the TV screen.  
  
_'Hot hot hot, ouch fuck!'_ I think as I eat my dinner. "Crap it's hot!"  
  
"Well duh!"  
  
"Did I say that aloud?" I ask. _'Hmm... interesting.'  
  
_"Loser," she mumbles getting up and getting her food.  
  
I finsh the rest of dinner quickly and head back up to my room. Flopping down on my bed, I think the days events over in my head.  
  
_'There's a new hot kid in my class, he is in a very negative state of mind, and he's hot.'_  
  
Frowning slightly I fall into a deep sleep, I'm not sure what I dream of. But I know the next morning I'm awoke by an angry looking face. Once again I'm pushed off the bed, and the angry face mocks my style again. _'Hmm, maybe yesterday was just a dream. I sure as hell hope not though.'  
_  
I quickly get ready for another day at school, which is really rare for me. I eat breakfast and hurry out the door. A huge smile appears on my face as I see Dil standing at the bus stop. As I walk over to him, my two best friends join me. We all greet each other and fall into an easy conversation.  
  
The rest of the week flies by, and Dil and I grow closer. It's really weird, cause he gives me these signs, like he likes me like I like him. I'm not sure though if that is what he means, but maybe one day I'll find out. One day soon.  
Soon a month has passed, and I still haven't asked him about it. I've never been this scared to tell someone how I felt. I guess he's different, plus I've never really told a guy I liked them before.   
  
"One day soon," I mumble to myself.  
  
A few more months pass by and I have yet to tell him. We are so close now, I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to scare him away, I guess friendship is good enough. Actually I don't think that would be good enough, oh well. Maybe I'll tell him today, we are suppose to be hanging out.   
  
Grinning slightly, I get up from my bed and head over to the shower. Just as I shut the door I hear a knock on the front door. Stepping out of the bathroom I head over to it. As I open it I see a familiar face.  
  
_'Dil,' _I think. _'Wait what's up with the troubled look. Shit this can't be good.'  
  
_Grabbing his arm lightly I drag him into the house and up to my bedroom. I look over at him, and ask him what is wrong. Before I know it I'm hit with everything that has happened to him.  
  
"And then Tommy called, and I miss him so much!" he says as he starts to sob.  
  
_'Shit, this isn't good.' _I again grab him and hold him. He calms down almost instantly, which really surprises me.  
  
He looks up at me and smiles, and as I look down at him and smile. We lock eyes and his face is coming closer to mine, as mine goes closer to his. He doesn't seem to notice and before I know it our lips meet in a small kiss. He pulls back quickly, and I let out a silent groan in protest.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm just going-I can't believe-I'm sorry," he keep saying as he attempted to get out of my room.   
  
_'Oh please tell me that it wasn't a mistake. I guess now is the time to tell him, before its too late.' _I look over at him. "Look, don't be, you don't know how long I've wanted you to do that," I tell him.  
  
I pull him into a warm embrace and slowly bring his face to mine, just incase he changes his mind. Our lips met again and I run my tongue over his lips, wanting to taste him. He parts his lips and we stand there, kissing like there's no tomorrow.  
  
We break apart when air is needed, and he smiles widely at me. His face is flushed and it makes him look even hotter than before, I smile back at him. I can tell his thinking about something, and his smile widens.   
  
"The one day I've been waiting for has finally come," I say to myself quietly.  
  
"What was that?" he asks smiling.  
  
"Nothing, nothing," I mumble. _'One day soon.'_  
  
**fin.

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A/N: This chapter took me weeks to write... I would have been done sooner, but my computer froze and I lost half the chapter so I had to re-write it. Anywho, I hope you liked it.  
  
Review Thanks:  
  
Spice Of Life (Too lazy to log in): Hehe the perks of being my soul sis! ::grin:: Anywho thanks for the review...   
  
FREEGI: Hehe glad to hear you luv it! ::grin:: hope you luv this chapter just as much! Thanks for the review!  
  
tomgreensbigtoe: It's good to be back! ::grin:: Hope you enjoyed this chapter... Thanks for the review!  
  
Dani-poo: Wait Dani aren't you suppose to be Dani-boo? You stole my poo! LMAO that sounded so wrong! I hope you liked it! Thanks for the review! Diz says 'bark!'  
  
A/N: Everyone who reviewed gets some ice cream! ::grin:: Well yeah I'ma go attempt to finish up WMoOC's next chapter... either that or attempt to learn how to play bass, in which I suck at! Peace...   
  
CrazyLake42 **


	3. Six Month

**_Road To Acceptance_**

_Summary: Phil and Dil have finally gotten together and things couldn't be better._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Rugrats. Please refrain from suing me, thank you._

_Warning: This contains slash. And if you don't know what slash is… it's male/male pairing. Meaning: two guys kissing or possibly doing more._

_A/N: Heya folks! I was going through my stories and I happened to stumble across this one and decided to re-read it. (It needs to be edited… haha) and then decided that I would give all my awesome readers a new chapter to it. Kinda like an apology for not updating anything in years. I'm really sorry about that. So much stuff has changed and I hardly have time to write anymore. It's really depressing, but I'll try to get better at updating. Anywho… on to the story!!_

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I shudder to think what my life would be like if I never meet Phil. I was so lost and confused before I met him. I hated myself. We've been best friends for a while, and boyfriends for six months today. The school wasn't too pleased with us and they still aren't. Things didn't change too much, except for the fact, they don't tease us about our clothes anymore; they tease us about our love.

It doesn't matter though. They can make fun of us all they want. They don't really get violent anymore, except for the pushes or shoves. It really affected me badly at first, but Phil, Kimi, and Chuckie helped me get over it. They are probably the best friends I could have ever asked for.

My life has gotten better though. My parents are spending more time at home and Tommy calls every week to check in with us. He decided that he didn't want to move back just yet. He loves it where he is, but he plans on coming to visit in a little bit. We're hoping he'll stay.

I sigh slightly as I look at myself in the mirror. I'm still not as confident as I should be, but I'm a lot better off. Phil has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I run the brush through my hair again. Phil and I are going out and I no idea how to do my hair. Sighing in frustration, I run my fingers through my hair and let out a low hiss.

Surprisingly, I like what I see in the mirror. I grin slightly as I look at myself. Black baggy pants with a semi-tight red shirt that says, "I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself," cover my body. I bought this shirt just yesterday and I'm almost positive Phil is going to get a huge kick out of it.

We haven't done anything more than making out and slight grinding on each other. I'm unsure if I'm ready for the big leap and Phil's more than willing to wait for me. He's a bit more experienced in this field. He went out to a club one night and lost his virginity to some random guy and went back a few more times. He doesn't regret doing it, but he does wish that I would have been his first. Phil told me he would wait as long as I needed.

As unsure as I am, every time we touch it gets harder and harder to resist doing other things. I'm thinking about taking our sexual activities a step farther and really considering pleasing him orally. I think he'd like that, but I don't know how to do it. I've never been with another person like that. I'm a bit embarrassed, but I'm also glad that I haven't, because now I can give Phil something really special.

I glance down at my watch and it stares back up at me with 8:25. I sigh a bit, five minutes until he'll come and get me. We're supposed to be going to some movie and then out to dinner. It's not unusual, but with him, everything is special. Sometimes I question whether or not he feels as strongly as me, but I don't question it as much as I used to.

We still haven't professed our love for each other, but we both know. We don't have to speak it to know. We can tell by the way we look at each other. We can feel it in our touches and caresses. We can hear it in the way we talk to each other. But, I feel it's about time I finally do tell him. I'm dying to hear those words spoken back to me.

I glance down at my watch again, three minutes to go before he gets here. I wander down the hall and into my bed room. I spray a bit of body spray on and grab my wallet and other important items. Slipping my feet into my shoes, I head downstairs to sit on the couch and wait.

At 8:30, a knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. My parents are gone on a trip to relieve stress. They have been frantically searching for my brother, but now that we know he is fine, they finally decided to take a break and spend some time together. They had grown distance in the time they had been hunting. They blamed each other for his disappearance.

Feeling nervous, I get up and walk over to the door. I sigh deeply and open the door. Phil is standing their in a similar outfit to mine, except his shirt is a plain dark green. He has a cute little teddy bear in his hand that he pushes towards me.

"Hey Baby," he greets. "Happy six month!"

"Happy six months to you too, Love. Is that adorable little bear for me?" I ask him, taking it into my hands.

"Obviously," he grins and leans over to kiss me on the lips. "How 'bout we skip going to the theatre and just rent a few movies, grab a pizza, and stay in today? I'm not really up to going out."

"Sure," I say, my nerves going haywire. "I didn't really want to go out tonight anyways."

The last few date nights we had ended up kinda bad. We tend to end up running into our classmates and things don't end up well. We usually ignore them, but when they start the pushing and shoving, it's harder to. Phil and I don't fight them anymore if they start to say stuff, but we'll defend ourselves when they get violent. We haven't gotten into any fist fights, but shoving and pushing are known to happen.

His sister, Lillian, has actually been one of the main reasons it doesn't escalate into a fight. She and Phil are starting to get onto good terms again. She's sticking up for him more and more to her boyfriend, who doesn't really like it, but he loves her.

Phil and I leave the house and walk down to the movie shop and pick out a few movies to watch. We then head down to the pizza shop and order two large pizzas, one ham and pineapple and the other pepperoni and black olive. He carries the pizza with one arm and has his other on the small of my back. The little contact that we share sends sparks through my body.

I start to think about what I'm considering to do tonight and I start to get nervous. This is something I really want to do and I feel that making him wait this long isn't fair. Though, that really isn't a good reason to go ahead and go along with it. I love him and I want to make him feel good.

What's holding me back from doing anything sexual like that with him? Fear and the fact I don't like my body. The fear of not being good at it and not holding his attention, or him doing things to my body and me cumming way to fast.

"Dil, baby, are you okay?" he asks me, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Oh yeah baby, I'm sorry. I'm just thinking about things," I reply.

"Hmm, wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"I hate when you close up on me, but alright," He says.

He never pushed or pressured me to tell him things. He's always just been there when I was ready. We finally make it back to my house. I unlock the door and push it open.

"You set the DVD up and I'll get plates and a drink," I tell him.

"Alright, oh and your ass is pretty hot in those jeans," he tells me, staring at my butt as I leaving the room with a huge blush on my face.

I grab the plates and a few sodas and make my way back into the room. He has a blanket in his hands and the lights dimmed. The TV is on with one of the movies we picked out. I don't even realize what movie it is as I stare over at him.

I walk over to him and cuddle up to him. My head finds his chest and his fingers threads through my hair. I've never felt more relaxed or safe as I do when I'm with him. I know he'd never let anything happen to me.

"Phil," I whisper.

"Yes, Sweets?" comes his whispered back reply.

"Thank you for everything," I choke out, but it's not what I wanted to say.

"No problem," he replies, and I detect disappointment in his voice.

I inwardly sigh. I want to tell him I love him, but why can't I? Why is it so hard to tell someone you love them? Especially when you know that you do without a doubt. I suck in a deep breath and release it. I have to do this, I tell myself.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asks me.

"Nothing," I reply.

"Did I do something wrong?" his voice is worried.

"No, Phil," I reply, my voice a bit harsh. "You did nothing. I'm sorry."

"Okay, " he's unconvinced.

We sit there in silence for a little bit longer. I look up at his face. It's shadowed from the dim lights. He's watching the movie, but he's not focusing on it. He's thinking about something. I don't want to ask him what. I smile slightly and run my fingers on his arms. I'm going to tell him, and I'm going to do it now I tell myself. I open my mouth to tell him, but I shut it. He doesn't seem to notice.

"Phil," I call him again. I'm going to do this I tell myself over and over again.

"Hmmm," he replies.

I lean up and look him in the face and lean over to give him a small peck on the lips.

"I have something to tell you," I whisper and worry fills his eyes.

"What?" he asks me.

"I-" I pause, scared to say it.

What if he isn't ready to say it back? Will he feel like he has to? I ask myself. We know we love each other, but to say it? Why is it so hard? What's the difference?

"You?" he presses, fear starting to leak into his voice.

You can do this, Dil, I think.

"I lo-love you," I whisper blushing and burying my face into his chest.

"…" He stares at me. "Baby." His voice holds amusement.

"What?" I ask as my voice is muffled from his chest.

"Look at me," he says trying not to laugh and I look up at him, my face beet red. "Is that what you wanted me to know?"

"Yes," I feel tears welling in my eyes, he thinks it's funny.

"Baby, I love you too, but why are you so embarrassed? I know you love me and you know I love you. Why be embarrassed to say it?"

"Because, I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear it," I tell him.

"Dil Pickles, you can be an airhead sometimes. Of course I wanted to hear it, but I feel it every time I'm with you so I never said it."

"I know, but I wanted to tell you."

"It makes me happy to hear, thank you. I'm sorry I haven't said it sooner," he smiles running his hands through my hair.

"Mmmhmm," I moan closing my eyes and enjoying his hands in my hair.

We lay cuddle up on the couch for awhile before I look up at him again. He's looking down at me smiling. I love his smile. I feel myself blush from his attention. I'm a lucky guy to find someone like him. His face comes towards mine, slowly and teasingly.

I pull my head up to meet his faster. Our lips meet in a light kiss. We move our lips together and we both know exactly when to deepen the kiss. We both open our mouths and our tongues come out to play with each other. His hands are in my hair and on the back of my neck as he holds me up to his mouth. My hands entwine around his neck.

The room is starting to feel a bit hot as our make-out session gets more heated. His hands move under my shirt as we shift and I lay on top of him. I'm dragging my fingers through his hair and he's moaning slightly. I'm also letting out little noises of pleasure as his fingers run up and down my back. He knows just were I like him using his fingernails and where I like his fingertips.

He pushes his hips against mine and I can feel the bulge in his pants push against my own. He starts to grind circles into my hips and I can't help but moan and push back against him.

"Let's go to my room," I suggest breaking away from the kiss.

"Alright," he grins.

We detangle ourselves from each other and move upstairs to my bedroom. It looks just the same as it did when we first decorated it together. The only difference is the new pictures of me, him, Chuckie, and Kimi that share my dresser with my collection of swords and daggers.

Phil grabs me from behinds and hugs me. I can feel his erection pushing into my back. I'm slightly shorter than him. I turn around and lean up to kiss him again. He steers me towards the bed and gently pushes me down onto it. Phil straddles my hips and pushes into me again. A spark of pleasure courses through my body and I arc my back and let out a low groan.

"Feel good?" his voice is thick.

"Goodness, yes!" I exclaim.

He slowly removes my shirt and kisses all the exposed flesh. He runs his tongue across my neck and down my chest. He's touches are driving me crazy. I start to feel self-conscience as he starts to move toward my belt line. I grab his head and pull him back up to my lips. I can feel his disappointment.

"I'm sorry, Baby," I whisper feeling bad.

"It's alright. We can just lay here," He tells me kissing me on my lips.

"Thank you, Phil," I say gratefully, but guiltily. "Take your shirt off."

Phil pulls his shirt off and throws it to the floor next to him. His toned chest and stomach are exposed to me. I run my fingers over his skin and he shudders. I can see the bulge in his jeans and I'm so tempted to touch it. We've been together for six months and I'm still afraid of crossing the line with him. I know he wants it, but I'm so embarrassed and worried about crossing the line.

"I love you," I whisper and just saying it gives me a confidence boosts. I love him and I want to make him feel good. If he doesn't want it, he'll stop me. I repeat that over and over in my head.

"I love you too," he says pulling me closer.

I smile and try to work up the courage to take things a step farther. I'm not sure if I'm ready to completely give myself to him, but I want to give him part of me. I sigh inwardly again and reach over to touch his face. He smiles at it. It's time, I tell myself.

My hand travels to his neck and I run my fingers a long it, drawing out another shudder from him. I grin and run my hand down his chest. He smiles at me.

"Feels really good, I love the feeling of your fingers on me," he says.

"Good," I tell him, drawing circles around his nipples and then moving my hand to his belly.

I poke him in the belly button and he smiles at me and tells me I'm cute. I wonder how cute he's gonna think I am in a few seconds I think. My hand pauses on his tummy and I decide to take the plunge and go for it. I hesitantly move my hand down farther and start to rub him through his jeans.

"Baby? Are you sure?" He asks between moans.

"Shhh," I whisper continuing.

His erection had went away slightly as we just laid there and I could feel it growing again under my hand. His hand starts to rub my back in small circles. I move toward the button of his jeans and undid it along with the zipper. I pull his penis out of his boxers and start to rub my hand on it.

"Mmmm," He moaned as I moved my hand up and down it. "Baby, you don't have to do this."

"I want to," I tell him, my own penis straining against my jeans.

His hand moves down to touch me and I flinch slightly. He pulls it back and looks at me. I nod the go ahead at him and he put his hand back.

"I'm sorry, you just surprised me," I tell him.

He just grins and undo's my pants. I felt myself getting nervous again. Will I be big enough for him? How long will I be able to last with him touching me? He could sense my nervousness.

"Don't worry about it, Dil," He whispers, kissing me. "You're perfection to me."

"There you go reading my mind again."

He smiles as he pulls my erection out of my jeans. He slowly starts to jerk me off as I did the same to him. We're both moaning and sighing as the heat rises in the room. I lean over and kiss him hard on the mouth.

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Scene deleted.

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Finally, he comes down from his climax and smiles at me. I crawl up and kiss him. He didn't mind deepening the kiss and I could taste a mixture of him and me in my mouth.

"Hmm… seems like someone is back to play," he says as he breaks the kiss, indicating my erection that was pressing against his stomach.

"Mmmhmm," I reply laying down on top of him. "Later."

"Thank you."

"I should be thanking you," I replied. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said.

We hold each other and slowly drift off to sleep.

I never wanted to move this town, but I'm glad I did. My first day of school all I wanted was people to like me, but now I realized… I don't need that. All I need is the acceptance of who I am.

"Dil," he whispers and I assume he's going to say something loving.

"Hmm?"

"I'm hungry… and I have to pee," he tells me.

"Well thanks for ruining the moment," I sigh as he looks over at me with a pout. "C'mon let's get your food."

He grins and jumps up, still naked, and rushes out of the room downstairs to where the food was at.

"What if someone is home?" I call down to him.

"Oh shit!" I hear him exclaim and a string of shocked laughter.

"Tommy?!" I yell recognizing the voice and rush downstairs after throwing on my pants and shirt.

End of Chapter

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_A/N: So, whatcha think? Good, bad? Hope you guys enjoyed it. :-D If you want the deleted scene send me a message and I'll send it to you. :-D_

_**Crazylake42**_


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